Saturday, April 30, 2011

30 day challenge day 15

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

visit sweden

Friday, April 29, 2011

30 day challenge day 14

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
me and my love

Thursday, April 28, 2011

30 day challenge day 13

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
i have so many but hes the first that popped in my head

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

30 day challenge day 12

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
my love and taking the boat out on the ocean!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

30 day challenge day 10

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

30 day challenge day 9

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

30 day challenge day 8

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
trying so hard to reach her toy lol

Friday, April 22, 2011

Thursday, April 21, 2011

30 day challenge day 6

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

30 day challenge day 5

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
me and my sister at york beach maine

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Monday, April 18, 2011

new hair cut!

got my hair cut today. then came home and painted my nails and toes lol. Its amazing how a small change can make you feel so  much better!

30 day challenge day 3

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
cant find cast pics but found these

Sunday, April 17, 2011

30 day challenge day 2

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for awhile.
my best friend and me at her wedding.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The 30 day challenge. Day 1

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

1. I have lived in 5 towns in the last 8 years.
2. I work as a nanny to a sweet 15 month old girl
3. I love carbs! pasta, bread, mac and cheese YUM
4. I just re-joined the gym
5. I live with my boyfriend of almost 5yrs.
6.I write 3 blogs and try to keep them up to date.
7. I LOVE shopping
8. I adopted a cat name tiger from the MSPCA
9.I have the best friends!
10. I really want to get married and have kids
11. I have a crazy family
12. I love Horror movies
13. my favorite color is Hot pink
14.I love to sing
15. york beach Maine is my favorite place to go!

shouldnt couples communicate before big purchases???

Bf decided to buy a new to him boat the other day... $4,000..... im beyond mad. First we have a boat that works just fine (although hes been trying to sell it for a while now) it can sit up to 10 people and has SEATS. its all open and i really like it. new boat is small, has a tiny cabin where he can drive all enclosed (wouldnt you want to feel the wind in your hair??) and NO SEATS. told me i can sit on the edge of the boat.... ya because i really want to go flying into the ocean..... Im so infuriated about it, it was such a waste of money....

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

"not sure what the future holds but it must be better than this" right???

not sure where bf and I stand at the moment.... he came home from work saturday morning and i was in bed waiting for him to see what he would do. he ended up cuddling with me and when i rolled over to face him and he was holding me close i was trying sooooo hard not to cry... i love him so much.... he was rubbing my back and we ended up sleeping together... i wanted him so bad... so now he seems like because we slept together everything is ok, i explained to him its not. nothing is going to change if we dont keep the conversation going. so i dont know whats going to happen next..... i love him so much and im not giving up with out a fight i just wish he cared more to want to make the relationship work... he says he loves me but if he did wouldnt he want to work with me on fixing things??

Thursday, April 7, 2011

"I am in Gods hands"

I feel so numb......... I dont know what to do.... i love him so much and this stress is killing me. He just doesnt get it, he thinks everything is my fault, but hes not perfect either... If he had been communicating with me about how he feels about everything from day 1 then we wouldnt be where we are now but he sucks at communicating. Relationships are about communication and compromises as much as they are about love..... I dont know how to pull us out of this misery......

Im so thankful to have such great supportive friends... i dont know what id do without them. Having a girls night friday night with "S" and "J" i cant wait! This stress is getting to me..

Ive started reading the bible again and believe it or not have been sleeping so much better (or maybe its just because bf has taken to sleeping in the guest room??) but either way its just something i felt i needed to do.... Suppose to go check out a church next weekend with one of my friends as she happend to mention she would like to start going to church again too. we'll see how that goes.

As for now:

 "He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken." - Pslam 62:6"

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

My relationship is falling apart and i dont know what to do.... im so lost..... i love him so much... i dont know how to get through to him.... he just doesnt get it.......

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

have reached my breaking point.....

So bf decided to change all his passwords etc.... hes obviously got something to hide..... hate that he sucks at communicating so much all of a sudden and that he refuses to actually talk to me and work on our relationship because nothings going to get better or change with out him working towards it... How am i suppose to trust him? tells me his loves me, tells everyone else different things so his friends are encouraging him to leave me etc. I wish the lies would stop.... hes either lying to me that he loves me or lying to them.... obviously he must be lying to me because why would you lie to your friends. Then to accuse me of going to have a quickie before work instead of actually going to the gym really pissed me off... i havent done anything to make him think that, i think he just gets his kicks from making me miserable... all the time now he has to annoy me and thinks its "fun" well its not fun and he doesnt seem to realize that as long as im miserable hes going to be miserable.... ive seriously had enough and i dont want anything to do with him until he steps up and starts acting like an adult and being honest and communicating with me. this is getting pretty freaking rediculous..... and i dont need all this stress...