Saturday, March 26, 2011

found this and had to share

Living Life

Life is not a race - but indeed a journey. Be Honest. Work Hard. Be Choosy. Say "thank you", "I love you," and  "great job" to someone each day. Go to church, take time for prayer. The lord giveth  and the lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper. Love your life and what you've been given, it is not accidental - search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you aspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive, it frees the soul. Take time for yourself - plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know.
Live for today, enjoy the moment.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Time for me time!

I'm finally learning that I need to be selfish and put myself first sometimes... I've started going to the gym and I actually like it! I joined some groups and am getting a social life finally! Feels great!

I used to have fun and go out with my friends but we've all moved away and our lives have taken us in different directions. I never realized how hard it is to make friends out of high school. When I do meet people now a days I usually have "L" with me and once the moms learn I'm her nanny and not her mom they are no longer interested in talking any more. Although not everyone is a snob we do have some nice mom friends that we get together with for play dates but its not like i can call them up and say hey want to go to the movies or out dancing? I want some real friends...

I want a better relationship too, I want someone that genuinely loves and wants to be with me, who appreciates me and enjoys my company. Someone that will communicate with me and be honest and make me feel loved. Instead I have someone who puts up with me, makes me miserable and no longer communicates with me....... What happened??? We used to be the perfect couple. We never even argued until we moved in together and even then we don't argue about important topics like money etc but stupid stuff, and he constantly antagonizes me and makes me mad all the time. I don't know what to do anymore, Ive tried over and over to talk to him and he refuses to listen, refuses to talk back, refuses to work things out, refuses to change..... what am i to do? I love him with all my heart and I still want to marry him and have a family, but i want my old honey back......

His younger sisters are both getting married this year too.... I'm not happy about that at all as we've been together longer etc and its just not fair. 

I want my life to fall into place Ive been through so much and when they're finally looking up and i start to think things will go my way they never do..... when will it be my time to be happy?

what to do?

That crazy lady you saw driving down the highway with the windows down and radio up, singing at the top of her lungs last night....... yea that was totally me lol

I had one of my new friends over for dinner last night i made Alfredo and broccoli it was good! We ended up chatting for 3 hours. She kept saying she needs to leave and then kept talking it was funny.
It was nice to have some girl time. Life is so crazy I work 55 hours a week but my commute is 40 minutes so i leave my house at 515am and i don't get home until 6 or 6:30pm. I eat dinner and go right to bed as i am exhausted. I then get up at 3am so i can shower, eat breakfast and watch the news(and now go to the gym) before work. I feel like i don't get any me time because weekends are usually spent with my boyfriend unless he's working.... Its gotten to the point where i enjoy him working nights and weekend shifts so i can get a break and just have time to myself.

I'm slowly trying to get myself back.... Ive started going to the gym again, today's my third day. I'm starting to write again, even if its in blog format.... I'm trying to write poems again too but that's not going as well.... I feel like i don't have any motivation or inspiration i guess is the better word.
I'm not sure what else to do, but i feel like i put my job, friends, family, even boyfriend before myself and i finally feel like taking some me time.

Honestly I'm not even sure where my relationship stands anymore.... I try to talk to him but he doesn't communicate anymore for fear of making me mad or sad.... so what if i get mad or sad i get over it and at least id know whats bugging him... Two days ago it was 4 years and 8 months that we have been together... I cant believe July will be 5 years. I really want to get married and start a family but i no longer feel that hes on the same page as me and that scares me. I love him to death and i don't want to lose him but i feel the lack of communication is going to tear us apart.... certainly not bringing us closer.... I'm at a loss as to what to do???

Thursday, March 24, 2011


I am a 26 year old female. I work as a nanny, live with my boyfriend of almost 5 years and my cat. I love to sing..... There is nothing better then driving down the road with the windows down and music up, singing at the top of my lungs!

I have a crazy family, and the best of friends. I recently joined a gym.... moved in with my boyfriend and gained back all the weight i had lost... not happy about that.. but not that motivated to change it either.

York beach maine is my favorite place to be in the summer! I love the ocean! Not to mention all the memories i have from family trips there as a kid.

My dad died when i was 12, my mom remarried when i was 16. I have a sister, half brother, and step sis. I have 7 nieces and 1 nephew..... Everyone asks me when im having a kid.... well im still waiting for my boyfriend to give me a ring...... Theres nothing i want more than marriage and a baby of my own. But for now Im happy taking care of "L" Ive been with her since she was 3 months old!!! Shes now 15 months old and going to be a big sister come august! Im like a second mom to her as im with her 55 hours a week! I love her to pieces.

I love to read, I write poems, and hot pink is my favorite color and im addicted to carbs.... pasta, mac and cheese, breads MMMM... no wonder i need to go to the gym lol. I have 2 other blogs, ones about my journey in weightloss and ones about my life as a nanny.... so why a third you ask?? well this is going to be about the rest of my life.... my ups and downs, my relationship, my friends, my travels, my everything else that wont fit in the job or gym category. If your interested in them ask and i'll glady give you the links to them.

So this is me! Welcome to my life!